What I found out this year.

I am not as young as I used to be, not as confident, or strong willed.

I am more dedicated, more long sighted and bigger around.

I am not as pretty as I used to be but probably am smarter.

I have decided that becoming "instantly recognized" would scare the beejeezus out of me. I would rather take my art and writing popularity as a slow growth. That way I can be used to the increase of conversations, people, business and other things as it comes. I still am going to try to be the 1 millionth deviantart submission only because it seems kind of neat to win the prize.

I am not as social as I could be BUT I am exactly as social as I want to be. I used to think that having a friend was important, that people like me. I felt I was always either not smart enough or too smart, not artsy enough or too artsy, not nice enough or a doormat. I am starting not to care anymore about any of that, as long as I feel comfortable and am happy the rest of the world can take a flying leap at a rolling doughnut. I kind of hope that mentality continues. I don’t have to fit in with the flock to be head of the herd.

I found out that even though I don’t have everything I want. I do have everything I need and am at peace with that realization.

The other thing is that even though I want to be more than what I am right now, that might not be possible because I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. So it has come to my attention that maybe I don’t get a real physical or mental epiphany about my own future unlike many other people. Perhaps I am supposed to do exactly what I am doing right now. Wandering around tasting several different careers and critiquing the taste of each.

There are a few things I want to accomplish this year and none of them should cost much out of pocket. I have wanted to do these things for a long time. The difference between then and now is that it feels like I will be able to do them this year. Psychic phenomena do do do do- do do do do. (my text version of the theme to Twilight Zone.) The things, materialistic, I want don’t really matter I can and will live without them if that is what is meant to be. If those items suddenly appear within my grasp, hurray!

It would be way cool if I could get rid of every one of those damned zodiac boxes. I am never ever going to do another one of those "labeled" ones again unless someone commissions one. I discovered that just doing twelve images for zodiac means that you are only appealing to a very small percentage of people. Still even though the boxes are already at base price I don’t want them mucking up the agenda.
The ones that are left are:
Virgo
Taurus
Scorpio
Pisces
Leo
Capricorn
and Aries
Therefore I will be dropping the price of them starting Sunday 12-27 [link]

I have done enough journaling today...